Thanksgiving Triggers After Abortion

“For years I have been doing okay with my abortion decision,” the woman outlined as she greeted me after a speaking engagement. “Then my mother died two months ago. When I mourn my mother, I find myself grieving the child I lost in that horrible abortion clinic. Now I have to take over for her and cook a large Thanksgiving meal next week. Is there any way I will ever go back to feeling the way I used to about this choice?”

Immediately after abortion, many post-abortive people enjoy a period of relief. The anxiety of an unexpected pregnancy has been resolved, if only for a while. Individuals often work to forget this choice and go on with their lives. Sadly, many find that the emotional and spiritual pain of abortion can peak after being triggered, particularly during holiday events.

Making an abortion decision is often wrapped in deep emotion with multiple people offering their advice or family members who force them to abort. No matter how difficult the procedure is, afterwards most women simply want to forget and keep this loss as a lifelong secret. Many believe they can take this secret to their graves.

Ignoring an abortion memory can work for a while until a memory triggering event opens up the door to abortion pain. Perhaps it is seeing a child the same age that the aborted baby would have been. Or it could be the birth of another child and the igniting of “motherhood wonderment” where a new baby prominently outlines just what the mother lost in making that abortion choice. More times, it is encountering family members who encouraged the abortion decision during holiday events.

Next week our nation will celebrate Thanksgiving. This is a time when family comes together and shares a meal before the Christmas season is launched. Gathering with people who could have encouraged or discouraged a past abortion decision often activates old memories. While many will avoid these gatherings, others don’t have that luxury.

A healthy family that had lost a member to abortion gathered together last Thanksgiving. The daughter that had experienced abortion had previously found deep healing from God through an abortion recovery program. Her healing made it possible for the entire family to remember her lost child, particularly during holiday events.

Over the years of celebrations of this family, many cousins and siblings of the aborted child have married and had their own children. Starkly, when the entire clan gathers, there is a huge hole that marks where the lost grandchild would have been. Due to the healing, they are allowed to discuss this lost child, just like other family members who are in heaven.

At these family gatherings, even grandchildren know about their cousin/sibling who was aborted. As elderly family members have passed on there is a gentle understanding that the aborted child is enjoying heavenly fellowship with them. To remember those that are no longer with them, this family has a moment of silent recognition before they pray over the meal.

For those that have yet to find God’s healing after abortion, family meals can be a traumatic experience. Consider eating turkey while sitting next to the aunt who dragged you off to the abortion clinic. The proximity to someone who forced an abortion can trigger a great deal of anxiety along with other emotions like hatred and disgust.

The undercurrent of such a meal is often uncomfortable. Grief goes unrecognized as only the Aunt knows the abortion happened. Simply eating next to this person can be difficult for a woman who is remembering her lost child who is not part of the family circle.

Few of us realized when we chose abortion that reminders of our lost child would surround us as we grew older. Seeing a young person even today that is the same age as my lost child reminds me deeply of how wrong my choice had been. I never thought I’d be grieving the potential grandchildren my aborted child would have provided to my life.

However these triggering events arrive, it makes no difference. A past abortion can be suddenly illuminated in the secret room of a mother’s heart and the light may never go off again. Thankfully, there is the hope of God whose desire is to heal this part of our hearts. His grace and mercy can bring us to the point where we can forgive ourselves for making such a choice, grieve our lost child and find joy again.

If you are growing anxious over the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, here are four ways to help your heart:

Give Yourself Permission to Cry – Grieving a child lost to abortion typically does not lead to a mental breakdown. Tears are the body’s way of ridding itself of toxins. Weeping can begin God’s cleansing process, starting the process of settling His peace in your heart to help you endure difficult gatherings.

Secure Prayer Coverage – If the abortion wound is not healed, be sure to ask for prayer coverage before any family event where those who participated in the woman’s abortion decision may gather. If confrontations could be looming during the family gathering, it’s best to have God involved.

Develop New Family Traditions – Having a moment of silence for all family members who are not there to share in the meal is a great idea. Allowing thoughts about the aborted child to tangibly enter your heart and mind can be very healing. For those who may have encouraged the abortion, they also need God’s grace and mercy evident at the meal versus tension and discord.

Resolve to Embrace God’s Healing – If heartache surrounding a past abortion continues to be resurrected, it’s time to embrace an abortion recovery program. Such a journey with God can bring restoration and peace to your soul, and even bring joy back into a wounded heart!

God’s healing after abortion is available to everyone who may have been involved in an abortion decision. The Holy Spirit often uses reminders to help us begin to understand the emotional and spiritual pain and find His peace. 2 Corinthians 4:15 outlines the benefit of thanking Him for the blessings of your life – All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.


A Personal Abortion Story by Sydna Masse

Sydna Masse – Pregnancy Center Banquet Speaker for Hannah Pregnancy Resource Center – October 2017

Sydna MasseSydna Massé is a rare pro-life speaker when she shares her story of walking into an abortion clinic and losing her child. Watch this video to see how a pregnancy center could have made all the difference in her life. Sydna then shares how – years later – a pregnancy center helped her discover God’s healing and grace, helping her to mourn her aborted child at last.

If you’ve never heard an abortion story before, watch this video to learn how difficult and physically painful this choice can be as well as the amazing power of God to heal this sinful choice. If you are searching for your next pro-life event speaker, watch this video! Sydna’s presentations are unique, heartwarming, humorous as she personally relates to the amazing work of pregnancy centers and why individuals and churches should support those efforts.


Sydna Massé is internationally known for her initial work with Dr. James C. Dobson as Focus on the Family’s Manager of Crisis Pregnancy Ministries (1991-1998). Sydna currently serves as President & Founder of Ramah International, an abortion recovery outreach and training organization. She also writes a weekly blog on all aspects of abortion pain and has recently authored the new online Her Choice to Heal abortion recovery healing website.

Sydna Massé experienced an abortion as a teenager while attending a private Christian college. She was one of the first post-abortive women to share her abortion journey publicly on the Focus on the Family broadcast (1992). Over the last 26 years, Sydna has likely heard more post-abortive testimonies than anyone else living in our world today. She is a rare expert on abortion related pain at all levels. She is a nationally recognized leader in the pro-life movement and can relate her experiences to various audiences, representing and educating on how abortion wounds women and impacts our world negatively.

Sydna’s professional credentials include:

Author of the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual & Emotional Peace After Abortion (published by David C. Cook, January, 1999 – Revised: 2009) and many other resources available through Ramah International.

Creator of one of the few abortion recovery programs relating to abortion’s pain and God’s healing – Her Choice to Heal Abortion Recovery Guide and Journey in Ramah devotional.

Sydna has been the featured speaker at hundreds of pregnancy center banquets, sharing her testimony to educate audiences on how abortion impacts women and why pregnancy centers are so important!

Sydna’s weekly blogs outline all aspects of the biological, emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical impacts of abortion. They are one-of-a kind writings, documenting post-abortion pain and healing at all levels, revealing the truth that God can heal abortion pain.

She is the originator of Ramah’s new Her Choice to Heal abortion recovery website which will allow a free format for men and women to begin to address their abortion pain privately.

Through Ramah International’s pregnancy center training seminars, Sydna trains an average of 1,500 pregnancy centers, sidewalk counselors and church leaders every year in being more effective with the abortion-vulnerable, particularly those who have already experienced abortion. Her method of delivery includes a detailed training manual along with real stories and examples, helping attendees minister more effectively to those considering abortion.

Sydna is one of the rare female CEOs of an international abortion recovery and pregnancy center non-profit organization. She holds a Bachelors of Arts degree in Communications from Michigan State University. She has been married to Tom Massé since 1986 and they have three adult sons – Bruce, Michael, and Daniel. They currently reside in Springdale, Arkansas.

Below are references from some who have had Sydna as a pregnancy center banquet speaker or a keynote speaker at their events:


It was an incredible blessing to have Sydna as our banquet speaker this year. She shares her testimony witl. grace and humility, spotlighting the redemptive work of Christ. Sydna did an amazing job and I am happy to say I have heard only positive comments from banquet attendees and Board members alike! Many attending our banquet said they hadn’t really understood the work we do or the impact we can have in the lives of our clients – Sydna opened their eyes. Our banquet was a huge success, surpassing our financial goal by $4,ooo!

Sydna continued to bless us with an outstanding training, once again sharing her story and the wisdom God has given her. With more than 95 pregnancy workers in attendance and representing 5 states, Sydna taught us, challenged us, and encouraged us in our care of abortion-vulnerable and post-abortive clients.

After spending two days with Sydna, I now consider her a friend. Getting to know her is easy, it is fun – you can laugh with her or cry with her. She is warm, approachable and genuinely interested in touching hearts with the love of Christ.

Having Sydna as our banquet speaker and as a trainer was a wonderful experience for our center – our staff, our volunteers, our donors and supporters. We were blessed not just the two days she was with us, we know those blessings will continue as we serve Christ with new knowledge, wisdom and compassion. THANK YOU SYDNA!

Together for Life,

Pam Burkholder
Executive Director
Expectations Women’s Center
Lewisburg and Williamsport, PA  570.321.8254 Ext. 3

“Sydna Masse, a friend of 20 years, was a keynote speaker at our annual Fellowship Dinner. As a long-time communicator myself, I’d like to make several observations about Sydna’s keynote speaker presentation:

  • Sydna was authentic and transparent. MANY told us afterwards how refreshing that facet of her keynote speaker was.
  • Sydna not only drew from her own experience but then effectively tied those life lessons in with our present pregnancy center work. This facet made her talk applicable.
  • Sydna’s post abortion story, especially discussing the impact on her boyfriend, touched the hearts of many men in our audience who are post-abortive and perhaps never knew there was a way to receive forgiveness and healing.

I would highly recommend Sydna as a pregnancy center banquet speaker for your next pregnancy center fundraising event. God will use her to help you laugh, cry and learn pivotal truths all at the same time.”
Blessings my sister,

Stan Kellner
Chief Executive Officer
Sanctity of Life Ministries
10380 Democracy Lane
Fairfax, VA 22030

Dear Sydna,

Thank you so much for your participation at Focus on the Family’s “Teacher in Focus” conference. Through the workshop was small, you obviously had a large impact on those who attended. The attendees commented that they really appreciated your sharing your story, and were more motivated to be sympathetic because of hearing it. As one attendee noted, “As a physician in a university setting, I will work much harder on the compassionate side of my pro-life stance as a result of this workshop.” Obviously that is just the kind of impact we hoped that you would have as a keynote speaker. Thank you again for all that you did to make this conference so special.

Tom Minnery
Vice President, Public Policy
Focus on the Family

Here are some of the topics that Sydna can present as a keynote speaker at your next pregnancy center event.

Presented mainly for pregnancy center events and pro-life functions, as a pregnancy center banquet speaker Sydna Masse presents her personal testimony of having an abortion at 19 while attending a private Christian college. Sydna was the daughter of a Baptist minister who was dating the son of a Methodist minister when they joined the numerous ranks of young Christian couples turning to abortion clinics to “erase their mistake.” The story of God’s grace through the following years and the power of the Holy Spirit to finally direct Sydna to a pregnancy center’s abortion recovery ministry program are a testimony to the healing power and forgiving nature of our Creator. This is a message of hope and peace, which is rarely heard today in abortion discussions.

In this talk, Sydna shares the emotional story of how the Lord led her to forgive the woman who murdered her friend and neighbor. This simple act of obedience led to the development of Ramah International’s prison post abortion outreach program. Through current prison abortion recovery efforts, it is thought that as many as 85% of incarcerated females could be post-abortive. This stirring message of hope and forgiveness is suitable for any audience.

Developed for Focus on the Family’s “Life on the Edge” tour, as a keynote speaker Sydna speaks to younger audiences (teens and college chapel services) about her personal testimony of choosing to have an abortion rather than facing the consequences of a crisis pregnancy and how it affected her life. Transparently, Sydna speaks directly to those who are considering a sexual relationship outside of marriage as well as those who are sexually active as to why abstinence is the best option.

Sydna’s unique seven-year position as Manager of the Crisis Pregnancy Ministry for Focus on the Family allowed her to become an expert on a movement that is gaining strength and stature in the United States today. Highlighted facts include the areas of service Pregnancy Resource Centers provide, as well as a unique testimony of how a local pregnancy center led her back to the Lord after an abortion experience.

As a banquet speaker this presentation is filled with wonderful stories of how individual pregnancy centers have been used by God to affect many hearts with the gospel. It is perfect for pro-life retreats and conferences as well as pregnancy center banquets. Sydna makes a strong appeal to listeners to become involved in their local pregnancy center on a volunteer basis as well as providing prayer coverage and financial support.


  • The Power of Regret: post abortion and the Abortion-Minded
  • Are You Called to Ministry?
  • Avoiding Compassion Fatigue
  • Ministering on the Internet
  • Internet Web-Site Development
  • Abstinence Education in Your Community
  • Breaking Sexual Soul Ties in Clients and Volunteers
  • Understanding the Abortion Decision Making Cycle
  • Developing Your Ministry’s Strategic Plan
  • Reaching New Clients
  • Establishing and Enhancing your Post-Abortive Ministry Program
  • Developing Prison Ministries
  • Reaching out to Churched Women
  • Ministering to the Sexually Abused
  • Volunteer Training
  • Other Topics As Requested!

Sydna schedules her own engagements. Email Sydna directly at [email protected] or call 479-445-6070 to book Sydna as a keynote speaker at your next pro-life fundraising event.

Four Biological Impacts of Abortion

“Three days after my abortion, my breasts started to leak milk,” the woman outlined. “The abortion clinic told me it was normal. I then felt my milk “come in” and it triggered a deep emotional depression in my heart. How could I have done such a thing?”

The biological impact of abortion is often the least understood aspect of this choice due to the lack of scientific research. After abortion, women rarely reveal this truth to anyone. That fact alone makes research after abortion nearly impossible.

Even without detailed research on post-abortive women, science has provided proof of the biological impact of abortion. There are four ways in which a woman’s body is impacted by abortion:

Hormonal Changes

Every pregnancy involves giving birth in some way when the child’s placenta detaches from a woman’s uterine lining. Abortion ends a pregnancy artificially. When the placenta detaches after this procedure, the woman’s hormonal system is shocked to a certain extent. It can take time to adjust back to pre-pregnancy stages.

This is why pregnancy tests following an abortion continue to be positive for many weeks afterwards. This hormonal adjustment can result in postpartum depression, which can leave the post-abortive woman feeling overwhelmed, guilty, angry, or numb at the very least.

Many women will say they feel “empty” after the abortion. The likely reason for this empty feeling is a result of the hormone, Oxytocin, streaming through a mother’s body during pregnancy. This hormone hard wires women to form enduring bonds with their children.

The minute a woman becomes pregnant, Oxytocin starts to flow and the biological bonding process begins. Even when the tiny human is removed at the earliest stages of pregnancy, the mother still has that bond with her lost child. Oxytocin makes memories vivid and long-lasting. Since Oxytocin levels remain strong for several weeks after an abortion, abortion memories can be quite vivid.

Breast Tissue Development

Tender breasts and nipples are one of the first signs of pregnancy many women notice after they conceive. During the first phase of pregnancy, a woman’s body begins to prepare for breast-feeding by shifting the amounts of female hormones such as estrogen and progesterone. This hormonal change impacts breast tissue, nipples and many other parts of the woman’s body.

After abortion, it may take a woman’s body many weeks to return to normal due to such an artificial ending to pregnancy. Breast cancer is often impacted by hormone levels in the body. A first pregnancy ushers in a significant change to the breast tissues and the milk glands begin to develop. After abortion, milk that does not come out through lactation may result in small lumps that could lead to breast problems – even breast cancer.


Lactation – the secretion of milk from a woman’s breasts – is a normal result from the hormones that a woman’s body releases when a pregnancy ends. These hormones make a woman’s body start to produce milk, regardless of how a pregnancy ended.

The later the abortion procedure occurs in pregnancy, the higher the chance of a post-abortive woman having her milk “come in.” During pregnancy a woman’s body begins producing colostrum, the first milk. This along with weight gain is why a pregnant person’s breasts look fuller.

It is a typical misconception of women that their body will produce milk only when they are pregnant. Since a woman is not medically pregnant after an abortion, women simply assume that there will be no milk production. However, it can take a while for a body to go back to normal hormonal levels after abortion so lactation is possible.

The world’s largest abortion provider, Planned Parenthood, states on their website that breast milk production is possible after abortion. They share that, “For some women, their breasts will begin to produce milk as a natural consequence of no longer being pregnant.”  This group also features a warning that after abortion women should, “avoid stimulation of the nipples to reduce breast discharge” like colostrum and milk.

Producing milk can be an overwhelming reminder of a lost child in post-abortive hearts. If the woman goes on to have other children that she wants to breastfeed, the post-abortive experience can impact that future feeding process at an emotional level.

Cellular Connection

A study from the International Journal of Epidemiology outlines a biological phenomenon known as microchimerism. During pregnancy, the mother and child exchange small quantities of cells. The ongoing cellular presence of this child in the mother’s body later in life is called microchimerism. Microchimerism means every mother has a biological connection with every child created in her womb at a cellular level until she dies.

This cellular situation was discovered when researchers found male DNA in a woman who had never given birth. In questioning this woman after the Y chromosomes were discovered in her brain, they learned she had aborted a child. Researchers theorized that her aborted child must have been a boy and that some of his DNA remained in her body. Cells of unborn children remain in the bodies of their mothers – whether they are aborted or brought to birth.  

In my post-abortive heart, the scientific concept of microchimerism explained at a biological level why I could not forget the child I surrendered during an abortion in my teen years. It also explains why I felt “haunted” by my lost child until I entered an abortion recovery program.

Abortion impacts women at other levels as well. These include, but are not limited to:

  • Emotional consequences
  • Psychological wounding
  • Spiritual damage
  • Physical Injury

To learn more about how abortion impacts women, visit our online healing site and obtain a copy of the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion. This book can help you understand how your abortion has impacted your life. Attending an abortion recovery group, typically available through local pregnancy centers, can be a very helpful step as well in resolving the biological impacts of abortion.

If you have never experienced an abortion, understand that many around you may have made this choice. Whenever the abortion topic is discussed, please offer compassionate statements to potential post-abortive listeners. Statements like, “There is no sin that God cannot forgive,” offer the hope of redemption. You may be the one that God uses to help them discover His magnificent grace and mercy.

Pregnancy Scare!

“My pregnancy test was negative, Sydna,” the teenager texted me. “I’m so glad that we talked about how abortion impacts women and I got to hear about your abortion experience. I can’t believe abortion was even something I considered. I have now made a vow of secondary virginity. I will never put myself in that position again.”

Abortion is completely hypothetical until you find yourself in a potential unexpected pregnancy. A pregnancy scare can lead anyone to consider the abortion option. However, when those individuals who considered themselves “pro-life” actually abort, their pain afterwards can be greatly intensified because they knew better.

Recently, The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette published a text conversation from January 25, 2017 between PA Rep. Tim Murphy and his then girlfriend, Shannon Edwards. While Shannon turned out not to be pregnant, when it was a possibility, Mr. Murphy recommended abortion.

Edward’s point in this published message to her former lover was “… you have zero issue posting your pro-life stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week when we thought that was one of the options.”

Obviously, Rep Murphy was considered pro-life until he hit the snag of a pregnancy scare. With this published message, we clearly see that being against abortion made no difference. When a pregnancy scare arrives, anyone can become abortion-vulnerable – even US Congressmen.

When a period is late, abortion is commonly the first thought. After all, abortion is supposedly a safe and legal choice in America, even if you consider it to be murder. Without abortion’s ability to eliminate a “problem” should one be conceived, many would not be having sex outside of marriage at all.

After the pregnancy scare passes, many may later feel guilt for considering abortion, even if they did not choose it. When you stare into the face of a newborn that was conceived unexpectedly – where abortion had been considered but not chosen – regret and guilt often result.

As a Christian, I chose abortion at 19 years of age. In that era, the church was silent on abortion. I never knew of anyone protesting this choice or heard a pastor preach against it. I became sexually active right out of high school. Within a year I’d find myself in an abortion clinic. If I found myself in such a horrible place, anyone can.

My abortion decision was impacted by a total of two previous pregnancy scares. The first occurred after I lost my virginity. Waiting for my period to arrive then was a nightmare. I was starting college in two months. When I proposed abortion, my then boyfriend insisted that we would be “forced” to marry because abortion was “wrong.”

I didn’t know why abortion was wrong but I certainly didn’t want him to feel forced to marry me! He obviously winced as he shared this truth. My heart grew hard towards him then because he offered me no comfort.

I soon vowed to never see him again. If I was pregnant, I determined to lie to him and have an abortion. He’d never discover the truth. Many men have no idea their children were conceived, let alone aborted. When my period arrived on schedule, sweet release flooded my soul.

The second pregnancy scare occurred while I was out of the country on a college trip. My period was ten days late when I returned home. During those agonizing days, I searched for information on abortion. I am confident that I would have aborted then had I been pregnant.

Soon after that second pregnancy scare, I met my aborted baby’s father. He insisted upon a sexual relationship. Since I was no virgin, I agreed. When I got pregnant that summer, abortion was the only option my then boyfriend would support. He outlined that if I didn’t abort, he’d tell everyone it wasn’t his child and leave me. After two pregnancy scares – with abortion being the chosen solution – I agreed to his demands.

He took me to our local Planned Parenthood office for my pregnancy test. It was there that the final decision was made. No other support was offered other than abortion. At 19 years of age, abortion seemed like the only logical choice. I was sadly mistaken. It was the worst thing I have ever done in my life.

Years later – after God did a miraculous work in my heart to help relieve me of the burden of those sins – I could see how my eventual abortion decision took root the night I lost my virginity. Slowly but surely, with God’s help, I began to understand how that first sinful step had led me into an abortion clinic where the tiny human in my womb passed away.

Had I visited a pregnancy center versus Planned Parenthood, I believe my child would be alive today. Pregnancy centers offer complimentary and essential pregnancy services and accurate abortion procedure information. These non-profit centers also provide physical and emotional assistance as well. The ministry services of pregnancy centers are essential for a woman to have a real choice for her pregnancy.

If not pregnant, pregnancy center clients typically rethink their abortion ideology due to their time at the center. A first pregnancy scare can then end any abortion consideration in the future. Armed with abortion information – which is often only provided in pro-life pregnancy centers – women are empowered to make better choices in the future and many will stop having sex outside of marriage!

On the other hand, if women visit a Planned Parenthood as I did, basic information about abortion is often ignored. I never knew abortion was surgery or that it could impact me for the rest of my life and become my biggest regret. Rarely is physical and emotional support ever offered at organizations that specifically sell abortions.

The consequences of a true pro-life heart choosing abortion are quite different than making this choice without knowing the details of fetal development. Those that should know better than to even have sex outside of marriage can be even more susceptible to choosing abortion should a pregnancy result.

Those that battle to save tiny humans at a legislative level typically have a different heart than those offering ministry services directly to abortion-vulnerable people in pregnancy centers. Fighting to end abortion politically is very different than helping stop abortion one life at a time in ministry efforts. Pro-life doesn’t mean sin free, after all.

In all pregnancy scares, visit a local pregnancy center first for the best information. The Her Choice to Heal abortion recovery on-line healing website can help you if you’ve made the abortion choice. Pregnancy centers also offer abortion recovery services to those of us struggling after abortion.

Always remember that there is no sin that God cannot forgive and heal! You just may not forgive yourself and need a little help. We are here to help! By praying this verse, God can help begin your restoration – Psalm 139:24See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.




Realizing Fetal Pain During Abortion

“What happened to my baby during the abortion?” the woman asked me fearfully. “Did my baby feel any pain?”

This week the US House will vote about banning abortions at 20 weeks. The title of the bill being proposed is the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.” This proposed legislation addresses the truth that at 20 weeks, children in their mother’s womb can likely feel pain.

For women who have chosen abortion, the “pain-capable” point can blow their minds. Post-abortive women have often bought the lie that abortion only removes “a blob of tissue.” When you state that “blob” may feel pain while they are being aborted, the abortion provider’s “blob lie” fizzles.

Let’s first be clear – few women enter abortion clinics believing they will be subjecting a tiny human to a brutal death. Instead, they hang onto the lie from abortion providers that abortion simply “removes a blob of tissue” – not a human being.

The horror of discovering my child was NOT a blob of tissue propelled a quick realization that I had been lied to by the abortion clinic staff. This “#bloblie” led me to believe that pain to my child would be avoided if I aborted quickly.

Many women rush to abort thinking they are preventing a painful death upon these unborn human beings. Abortion is never a “good death” at any stage. The grief that arrives sometimes years later is often confusing as well.

“Did my baby feel pain?” is a typical question for women considering an abortion recovery class. Fetal development outlines a child’s appearance as an obvious tiny human even at seven weeks into development. Arms, legs, feet, head are obvious even at the early stage.

In realizing my child was not a “blob” but a tiny human at the moment of his death brought horror to my soul. I immediately repented to God and grieved my “murderous” actions. Then an abortion recovery class helped me process this pain, guilt, anger and sorrow.

In the following days of discovering my child was not a “blob,” I processed this truth in my soul. I allowed myself to go there and consider – Did the abortion clinic’s suction machine tear the limbs off my unborn baby’s tiny body? I pushed myself to face any buried truth that could remain in my heart concerning my participation in my child’s brutal death.

Nightmares then began their assault upon my conscience. Dreams of standing in a river of blood while pieces of tiny corpses floated by my feet came nearly every night. Accompanying the horror in these visions were children’s voices calling out to me in obvious pain, asking for help.

Repentance came each morning due to the horrifying understanding of my actions. It was then that I embraced the title of “murderer” despite my initial ignorance over my child’s obvious human development.

Thankfully, God comforted me, assuring me that my child was now safe and warm in His heavenly care and felt pain no more. His word helped console me from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Yet through that comfort, God was also revealing truth. That truth was so very difficult yet important for my future life. If abortion brutally and painfully takes the life of a tiny obvious child, I had to do more to help those who were considering making such a choice.

God knew the future He had for me before I was even born, as outlined Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”

Through the Biblical story of Paul’s incredible ministry, God helped me process my new title of “murderer.” Paul had ordered many Christians – men, women and children – to be killed before God stopped him.

When the appointed time arrived, God stopped Paul’s bloodshed by meeting him on a lonely road. As a result of divine intervention, Paul transformed into one that God could use to reach the world with the hope of His salvation. If God used Paul in such a way after countless murders, could He also use you?

I Timothy 1:12-17 shares a piece of Paul’s heart – I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

As to whether or not a tiny human in a womb can feel pain at 20 weeks, I don’t want to take that chance. Being pain-capable could happen at 7 weeks… or even earlier. One side says they do suffer while the other says they don’t. Pain is complicated to identify and often experienced differently among human beings as well. But there is other evidence now.

Over the years of working with women who have experienced abortion, I’ve heard the stories of those who had late term abortion using a method called saline induction. This involves inserting saline (salt) into the womb to bring the demise of the tiny human occupant by burning its body. Abortion survivor and speaker, Gianna Jessen, survived such an induction process.

Every woman who endured this procedure shared the horror of feeling their baby twisting and turning in their wombs after the saline was injected. These movements indicated that their child was experiencing severe pain during this induction death process.

Scientists do admit that a fetus can respond to stimuli. For example, a heel prick from a needle used for amniocentesis can result in the fetus recoiling, much as an adult would to a painful pinprick. This test is normally performed between 11-20 weeks gestation.

While I am not comfortable with abortion at any point in pregnancy, I believe this bill is a no-brainer and should be made into law. Those working to advance this measure in Congress should be supported by your prayers and vote.

If you or someone you know is struggling after abortion, Her Choice to Heal is available to help you process these emotions with information about how abortion impacts women. The simple-to-use format is free and confidential, allowing you to research as well as contact our team for additional support and a local referral. We are here to help!



Abortion Recovery Blog Sydna Masse

Sign up to be notified when Sydna posts a new blog.

You have Successfully Subscribed!