“Is abortion a sin?” The caller asked, quietly sobbing.

I answered her question with another question, “What do you think?”

“Abortion brought death to my heart.  While my child is with God, aborting was the worst sin of all. ”

Today, sin is rarely discussed, even in churches.  Outlining abortion as a sin, like lying or stealing, rarely occurs.  Pastors avoid the abortion topic since it’s a highly charged political issue.   But that doesn’t mean abortion isn’t a sin.  Thankfully, even that sin can be healed by God’s love and mercy.

I was a Christian when I entered an abortion clinic.  My boyfriend and I were both pastor’s kids.  Our sexual relationship was obviously sinful but I could rationalize it because everyone was doing it.  That began a habit of sin justification that led to my child’s eventual demise.

As I sat in that clinic, I asked God to stop me if this was not His will.  I did not listen to His answer.

Logically, abortion was my best option.  Logic and sin are two different concepts, which my teenage mind could not process. That truth is outlined in Deuteronomy 30:19I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.

Under the pressure of a demanding boyfriend, destroying my college career, and impacting my traumatized mother at a scandalous level, abortion seemed like the best idea.  It was “safe and legal” but that didn’t make it right in the eyes of God.

My life changed that day as death came into my soul along with guilt, shame and anger.  I crossed a bridge with God then, believing I no longer deserved to be in His presence.  He didn’t leave me.  I left Him.

Had I opened my Bible then, James 1:14-16 would have given God’s answer – But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.

Seven years later, when I thought my unborn child was dying, I got to my knees.  Feeling as if God was punishing me, I begged Him to forgive my abortion sin and to spare this child’s life.

My confession was triggered by a verse I had memorized in childhood – 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

God’s presence swung back into my heart immediately.  He protected my unborn child. Yet the second part of that verse also began that day – His cleansing process to rid me of my “unrighteousness.”

For the last 25 years, God has used me to help educate the world on how abortion sin impacts women.  I’ve spoken to more post-abortive people over the years than anyone else living on Earth today.  The first step to healing is to help them hear God’s voice in their heart and encourage them to find His comfort in Scripture.

God’s conviction is gentle and kind when it arrives in our heart.  As a Christian, God was with me in that clinic.  I recalled the Holy Spirit’s voice, which I did not recognize at the time, urging me to flee.  That message seemed so contrary to the world’s view on unexpected pregnancy.

With abortion, silence speaks volumes.  Pastors often avoid the abortion issue entirely, mistakenly believing that no one in their congregations have made this choice.

While sex was an obvious sin in my heart, abortion was not.  Had my pastor outlined abortion as a sin, I would have had that perspective to consider in the clinic that day.

There are cases where the woman is not responsible for this sin, particularly when she’s forced into such a choice.  For example, a 12 year old incest survivor forced to abort by her pedophile is a victim, not a sinner.  God helps victims find His healing too.

After abortion, one is dead and one is wounded.  That wounding can only be healed by reaching out to the One who died for our sins.  Jesus Christ died on the cross for all our sins – even abortion. As Romans 6:23 says, For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Do you want peace from this pain?  Are you struggling to forgive yourself?  There is no sin that God cannot forgive and heal. His gift of life is available for everyone, as John 3:16 outlines – For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Ramah International is here to help in your journey back to God’s healing. There is hope for your future in accepting Christ’s gift of salvation and being restored in His fellowship!

Abortion Recovery Blog Sydna Masse

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