Abortion Recovery Blog

Abortion clearly involves giving birth. It obviously involves the loss of a child. However you view the abortion issue, there is no denying that this form of voluntary child loss has a physical impact on the women that choose it.

Every holiday season is filled with reminiscences of celebrations with family and friends, many of whom have gone ahead of us to Heaven. Christmas celebrates God sending His own Son to Earth through a teenage unwed mother. That story, in itself, can trigger unresolved abortion pain.

Nowhere in the world is abortion more unusual than in Ireland. One of the few common elements in the South and North of Ireland is the absence of legalized abortion.

For women who have chosen abortion, the “pain-capable” point can blow their minds. Post-abortive women have often bought the lie that abortion only removes “a blob of tissue.” When you state that a “blob” may feel pain while they are being aborted, the “blob lie” fizzles.

The requirement that, “You must be post-abortive,” astounded me. Nothing rattles me more than when abortion recovery programs openly DISCRIMINATE and REJECT God’s anointed people simply because they have never experienced abortion.  As a direct result of this cliquish rule, abortion recovery efforts have diminished over the years versus increased because there simply are not enough healed post-abortive people to administer these programs nationwide.

Sexual trafficking ministries have long understood the connection between abortion and sexual abuse. For those caught in the web of sexual slavery, abortion is a well-used financial tool for traffickers. Those that escape that imprisonment often report multiple forced abortion experiences.

When a mother does not make this choice, it’s normal for her to blame those who insisted she abort. Since she cannot divorce her family, her life can be miserable whenever she’s around those that forced her to take the life of her child.

Over the years I have met a handful of women who truly did heal from this pain miraculously. I’ve never doubted anyone healing initially. God clearly can do anything He wants to do. But this “instant healing” is rare.

It is normal for human beings to avoid or deny sad feelings. Few actively embrace sorrow after abortion due to the fear that their tears could result in depression that could lead to suicide. We then miss the results of embracing sorrow, outlined in Psalm 126:5-6 (NIV) – Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy…

When I decided to abort, I captured the false promise that afterwards I could go on as if nothing happened. The choice seemed the best for everyone involved – particularly my family. I believed this choice would afford both myself, my present and future family several advantages.

As someone who chose abortion in my teen years, I understand the various emotions that many post-abortive people endure afterwards. Today, tomorrow or years from now.

For those who have not embraced God’s healing after abortion, family meals can be a traumatic experience. Consider eating turkey while sitting next to the aunt who dragged you off to the abortion clinic? Or with the cousin who previously bragged about her two abortions?

Obviously, the pain women endure during an abortion varies greatly. To learn more about how abortion clinics present the anesthesia option, we recently surveyed abortion clinic websites and learned some basic truths

Many of us who have been raised in traumatic circumstances have a hard time understanding the nature of love. “God is love.” What does that mean? I spent a great deal of my life fearing God, particularly so after my abortion.

When a woman exits an abortion clinic, leaving her child behind, she is often deeply wounded. She also assumes a new title from society if they discover her abortion sin – murderer.

Our concept of “home” often depends on what we learned about this abode in the past. If home life was difficult and painful, achieving peace and love in our current circumstances can be a struggle.

Pro-choice efforts to comfort those who may be upset after their abortion typically has only one goal – to reinforce that their abortion had been a GOOD choice.

Abortion changes everything. In leaving an abortion clinic, one is dead while the mother is typically wounded in some way. Initially, family members endure the brunt of the emotional, spiritual and psychological fall out. Many have no idea an abortion has occurred.

Sydna Masse provides an update on the ministry accomplishments of Ramah International in 2016 along with plans for ministry advancement in 2017.

Anxiety over fertility and childbearing issues is a common element of Abortion PTSD. Some women maintain a fear that they might never again become pregnant.

When questions about abortion come out of the blue, parents are often unprepared for these deeper queries from their young children.

As someone who chose abortion in my teen years, I understand the various emotions that many experience immediately after abortion. At that time, there were no resources to help me understand the emotions that followed that choice. My hope is that this blog can enlighten you to the common issues some may encounter immediately after an abortion decision so you can understand what you may encounter.

A woman doesn’t make an abortion decision in a bubble. She typically enlists the insight and “wisdom” of others. Many then assume the role of abortion antagonist – a person who actively opposes or is hostile to a tiny human growing in another person’s womb.

For most of us who made this choice, this is a secret we dare not share. If people – even loved ones – knew about our abortion decision, they would not like us, love us, or associate with us.

If you know a loved one who may be maintaining an abortion secret, confronting them directly about this truth may not be God’s best plan. Thankfully, there are many other ways to address an abortion secret indirectly.

“Get. Out.” She slammed the door shut again and waited until his footsteps echoed off the last of the wood risers below. Crumbling to the floor, she let the sobs loose. Life had been better when she’d kept her heart on ice.

Unlike a surgical abortion procedure, the mother will likely view a tiny human when it passes out of her uterus.

Many faith-based hearts prayed before they aborted, asking for God to intervene if this wasn’t His will for them. These ambiguous prayers are often answered, just not in the way we expect.

A large percentage of women (and men) feel clear relief after an abortion because their unplanned pregnancy has been “resolved.” Many go on for decades without even thinking about that choice.

Abortion has become a common American experience. Just because we, the post-abortive, don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it’s not impacting us.

An appeal to post-abortive women who are still in search of God’s healing to begin to address this pain using Ramah International’s new website at herchoicetoheal.com.

Abortion impacts a woman’s body, soul and mind. The simple fact that post-abortive women rarely share this truth with others confirms that abortion often has unseen consequences.

Today there are active efforts by pro-choice and pro-life groups to encourage women to share their abortion stories. Twitter campaigns like #shoutyourabortion and #1in3 are designed to NORMALIZE an abortion experience and reduce any related stigma. Sadly, in sharing this tale prior to God’s healing, more trauma can result for everyone involved.

The number and rate of abortions tallied by federal authorities have fallen to their lowest level in decades. The abortion rate for 2013 was half the rate recorded in 1980. The CDC tallied 664,435 abortions in 2013, discovering that the abortion rate was down 20 percent from 2004.

There is clear reason for alarm. The U.S. government seems adamant in expanding abortion rights at a level we never anticipated – both here and around the world.

Rarely will a woman confess to a past abortion. Even more uncommon is for involved friends or family members to bring up the topic afterwards.

Abortion impacts a woman’s body, soul and mind. The simple fact that she will rarely share this truth with others confirms that abortion often has unseen consequences. Abortion is also a difficult truth to harbor in a heart.

Sibling abortion grief is often unacknowledged and unprocessed. Many have no clue that they have an aborted brother or sister in heaven. Since abortion is typically kept secret, it can be difficult for living children to understand the source of their parent’s pain.

While men may not possess any legal rights in the abortion decision, they have more influence than they sometimes realize. That power typically depends on the strength of their relationship with the child’s mother.

I was a Christian when I entered an abortion clinic. My boyfriend and I were both pastor’s kids. Our sexual relationship was obviously sinful but I could rationalize it because everyone was doing it. That began a habit of sin justification that led to my child’s eventual demise.

Revenant is defined as one that returns after death or a long absence. For many post-abortive people, being haunted by their “blob of tissue” is often unexpected.

Abortion is an obvious death experience but few realize that truth when they make this choice. Society often communicates that if you make a choice to reject parenthood, grief is not necessary. Yet the heart often has a mind of its own where sorrow is concerned.

Imagine receiving a call from a survey company asking, “Has anyone in your home experienced abortion?”

Abortion is completely hypothetical until you find yourself in a potential unexpected pregnancy. A pregnancy scare can lead anyone to consider the abortion option. However, when those individuals who considered themselves “pro-life” actually abort, their pain afterwards can be greatly intensified because they knew better.

When the aborted child’s placenta detaches from his mother’s womb, the mother often feels this separation deep within her soul. This “emptiness” often feels haunting as an abortion experience is difficult to ignore or forget.

At the time, I was offered the fake news that abortion was safe and legal. It was my right as a woman to control my body. It would even make my life better by allowing me to erase this mistake and have a do-over. They said there was plenty of time to make other choices.

Every time the word “abortion” is overheard by a post-abortive heart, a trigger of abortion pain can be unleashed. This simple phrase rarely brings any joy to those considering its ramifications. Any one related to a post-abortive person can watch our transformation from blindness on this topic simply by watching our body language and listening to our conversation. Here are five common stages of post-abortive denial…

Today we stand, waiting in deeper faith than ever before, anticipating a whole new civil rights battle, designed to reduce America’s horrific involvement in the systematic destruction of the lives of our tiniest citizens. But we can’t do it alone!

If you know someone who may be maintaining an abortion secret, bringing up your knowledge of their abortion directly can be wounding. A better way is to compassionately address those that have chosen abortion indirectly versus confronting them.

This abortion proud hashtag has now been tweeted over 300,000 times. Whatever the reasons for participating in this promotion, the use of this hashtag can have massive implications for the American family whose members have been lost to abortion.

We simply should never take God’s fruit as our own. If we take the personal credit for saving lives, then we also become responsible for every life lost to abortion. When God receives the full credit for lives saved, He also assumes responsibility for the lives lost to abortion. 

During Christmas, many discover that their emotional and spiritual pain related to an abortion choice can peak, robbing them of any seasonal joy.

Could there be a scientific reason for the emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual pain that can result after abortion?

My first DNC call to voters required reading a script that outlined my support for “abortion.” I was shocked that simply voicing the word produced immediate anxiety in my heart. I hung up, left the precinct and never returned.

Abortions are typically decided in times of great turmoil. When women share that they had an abortion, the deep details rarely follow this truth. By sharing just the simple truth that they had an abortion, these hearts watch the listener’s reaction closely.

Check out my first Vlog (video blog) where I share about discovering that Ulrich George Klopfer was my abortionist. This video provides comfort for post-abortive hearts whose emotional and spiritual pain may have been triggered by media coverage of abortion. It is a perfect tool in abortion recovery ministry efforts.

One third of all American women are post-abortive. You encounter us – in supermarkets, teaching your children, running day care centers, and at the top levels of corporations.

Ramah International’s main goal is to help individuals experiencing abortion pain find God’s healing. Whether this is by talking to them directly and helping them discover God’s healing, writing blogs that answer their deepest questions, taking calls because they are pregnant again and considering abortion, or in referring them to local abortion recovery programs.

Realize that the post-abortive are always within listening range. Many have overheard judgmental conversations that relayed messages like, “I think any woman that chooses abortion should go to prison!”

Imagine the bus or the subway or the car that takes you to work, then erase the females commuting alongside you. Erase your wife and your daughter. Or erase yourself. Imagine this and you come close to picturing the problem.

Elderly post-abortive people exist all over the world. Many often encounter no obvious regret until nearing the end of their lives. Some have found God’s peace by quietly serving others. Others have lost not only children but grand and great grandchildren as well.

Abortion finds many of us at a crossroads. Individuals can easily forget the added dysfunction they endured because they chose abortion. Rarely does abortion improve a life but often it leads to other problematic behavior that impact family life.

I want to invite you into one of the most private moments of my life. It was the moment my life was sliced in two, if you will. I say it was sliced into two because the person I was before this moment was drastically different from the person I quickly became for many years to come.

This past summer our family was forced to file for personal bankruptcy. The Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill may be a memory to most of you but we will always remember it as the tool God used to move us out of Florida.

The vehicle then cut across our traffic lane ahead of us and hit the right embankment very hard. As Tom pulled our car to a stop, we watched this automobile flip two times and come to a grinding thud less than 25 yards in front of us.

“This is the place where we do the great evil. Will God ever forgive us?” the Russian nurse commented as she opened a large door to her hospital’s abortion area for Ramah’s visiting ministry team.

Missing from the mix are the voices of tens of millions who are shattered deeply by the loss of their child(ren). These hearts absorb the murderer/killer title with great shame and guilt. Locked in silent prisons of pain, they reach judgmental conclusions about themselves and believe the worst – that they have committed the unforgivable sin.

Just reading the word “adoption” filled me with fear of the long-term pain associated with never knowing what happened to my child. Envisioning my baby being ripped from my arms and given to strangers was too much to consider. Abortion seemed far easier in my teenage logic.

Bright red splotches appeared over her neck revealing her obvious stress and discomfort in this dark environment. She walked like a terrified lamb, obviously ready to flee the spirit of death that encircled her heart.

Think of it like a brownie that has salmonella included in the recipe. Would you eat that brownie? I wouldn’t. So we have made the decision NOT to use this program at our center.

Triggers of Abortion PTSD often arrive unexpectedly, activating a deep and forgotten pain. Since many post-abortive people work to forget this choice, the spark of these triggers can send them into a whirlwind of emotional anxiety.

Our team is here to help anyone struggling after an abortion decision. Please know that there is no sin that God cannot forgive, even abortion. The problem maybe you don’t forgive yourself and may need help. The HerChoicetoHeal.com website can help you discover God’s peace and mercy so that you can process this pain in a healthy manner. Visit HerChoicetoHeal.com today!

Anniversary pain can be focused on the date of the abortion or the due date of the aborted child. When these dates resurface, unknown sorrow can result. Many times there is relief in understanding that this pain has a source.

One of the biggest battles in the abortion issue has been over whether or not post-abortion syndrome (PAS), a form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as it relates to abortion, really exists among women who have made this choice.

Aborted children don’t show up on a missing person’s list. Their remains aren’t in mortuaries or funeral homes. They are often unacknowledged by their parents which means the secret of their brief lives is rarely shared with others. That doesn’t mean there isn’t related grief when this truth is discovered.

Women do not get pregnant by themselves. Rarely do they end up in abortion clinics without being impacted by the opinion of others. Whether through direct or indirect involvement, abortion enablers are those who encourage, bully, intimidate, coerce or assist women in choosing abortion.

While abortion recovery video based programs seem popular, I strongly urge a re-evaluation of their overall use.

Many souls wearing pink pussy-cat hats on Saturday’s march were likely post-abortive. No one defends abortion like those who have chosen it – at least, initially. Anger is typically a necessary element of any abortion rights protests.

When someone confesses an abortion secret, they typically are searching for help. Maybe they want to know if they did the right thing. Others test the waters to see if you will judge them.

Post-abortion healing often begins when post-abortive women take the tentative step to exit their self-imposed prisons of secrecy to reach out for help. I will never forget the day I summoned the courage to open a booklet entitled, Identifying and Overcoming Post-Abortion Syndrome.

“I feel like I’m in a grief pit with no way out and no one to talk to,” the grandparent of an aborted child painfully outlined. “I don’t even have a right to say I’m a grandmother.”

Judy concluded, “Put a stone in this basket and write on it the name of every life God touches through your lovely heart. This basket will serve to strengthen your ministry and encourage your heart in years to come that God is using you mightily. I’m glad that my rock is there first!”

Post-abortive individuals often view their choice to abort as unforgivable in the eyes of God. Many also struggle in forgiving others who participated in their abortion choice.

It was my delight to share about Ramah International’s new online abortion recovery website at HerChoicetoHeal.com. By linking her pregnancy center’s donor and client website to this free website, this center is now reaching post-abortive people in their community at a deeper level and God’s healing work is booming.

With the approaching battle in Congress to remove Planned Parenthood funding, parents need to be prepared to answer this question from their children. Whether you have experienced an abortion or not, educating our children about abortion’s devastation will help ENSURE they never make such a choice.

After abortion, women typically work to forget they ever made such a choice. If pain and grief don’t manifest themselves quickly, they can appear as a delayed reaction in years to come.

For those experiencing Abortion PTSD, it is normal for sights, sounds, smells and even feelings they encountered during the time of their abortion decision to ignite memories they are working to forget.

Anger typically surrounds women before and after their abortion. Anger assists in addressing – or covering up – typical after abortion emotions like fear, guilt, longing, frustration, or hopelessness.

The biological impact of abortion is often the least understood aspect of this choice due to the lack of scientific research. That fact alone makes research afterwards nearly impossible. Even without detailed research on post-abortive women, science has provided proof of the biological impact of abortion. There are four ways in which a woman’s body is impacted by abortion.

When God makes the reality of abortion obvious to a post-abortive soul, many feel they deserve incarceration – even the death penalty. Sadly, the worst prisons can be in our own minds.

Abortion impacts everyone, whether they know it or not. It is a choice that influences not only the woman but also everyone related to them. If someone you know changes their behavior overnight – and seems to become someone else – suspect they may have chosen abortion.

There are eight common lies about abortion that are being promoted by abortion advocates today. Because few women will discuss their abortion in public, these abortion falsehoods are still in place to encourage abortion decisions today.

Post-abortive women often spout their abortion truth in the most unlikely moments. This need for validation is intense when the initial relief period passes. Depending on the listener’s perspective, these confessions can be met with compassion, validation or rejection.

Accurate statistics on the demographics of post-abortive people is nearly impossible to discover for many reasons. I cite abortion provider’s statistics simply because they are the only ones that come into direct contact with us.

“Can I have a cigarette first?” Norma McCorvey, the infamous “Jane Roe” in the Roe v. Wade case that legalized abortion in America, stood next to me behind the stage. Her request outlined her apprehension of what would happen over the next five minutes.

When I started my abortion recovery class, I was only there because of God. Our Creator seemed to insist in so many ways that I attend. He even put the words into my mouth when I voluntarily agreed to attend as part of taking a new job.

Sydna Massé is a rare pro-life speaker when she shares her story of walking into an abortion clinic and losing her child. Watch this video to see how a pregnancy center could have made all the difference in her choice to abort. Sydna shares how – years later – a pregnancy center helped her find God’s healing and grace. If you are searching for a pro-life event speaker, Watch this video!

In leaving the abortion clinic, typically one is dead and the other is wounded. It makes no difference that the abortion was a “legal” choice. The end result is the death of a living child. Because that life was voluntarily surrendered, abortion has a different impact on a woman’s heart at a spiritual level.

God blessed our year by allowing us to minister to abortion’s wounded at a new and deeper level. Many of you have prayed for our efforts and financially donated as well. Thank you. As I reflect back on 2017, please know your support has certainly impacted every praise we are outlining in this message!

Family histories that include abortion often contain many other traumatic events. Unplanned pregnancy often results during deep family strife as one generation significantly impacts another. These strife cycles cascade down the family line often ending in a generational circle of discord. Since one generation clearly impacts another, abortion decisions are often repeated down a family line.

Norma McCorvey, the infamous “Jane Roe” in the Roe v. Wade case that legalized abortion in America on January 22, 1973, stood next to me behind the stage at Focus on the Family. This was one of Miss McCorvey’s first speaking excursions in the pro-life realm since accepting Christ – a 700 person conference for pregnancy center workers in February of 1998. 

The consequences for an abortion confessor can be difficult for the non-post-abortive to imagine. This level of rejection is not for the faint of heart.

I continued, “In 2014, 24% of abortion patients were Catholic, 17% were mainline Protestant, 13% were evangelical Protestant and 8% identified with some other religion. Churched women are more likely to abort due to shame issues.”

My abortionist was masked when he appeared at the bottom of my surgical table. I took notice of his height, voice, approximate age and color of his hair as I watched him through my legs that were loaded into stirrups.

Immediately after abortion, many post-abortive people enjoy a period of relief. The anxiety of an unexpected pregnancy has been resolved, if only for a while. Individuals often work to forget this choice and go on with their lives. Sadly, many find that the emotional and spiritual pain of abortion can peak after being triggered, particularly during holiday events.

If healing has yet to be established in their post-abortive heart, the emotional impact of compiling 250-500 words about one of the worst days of their lives can be staggering.

Everyone is impacted by abortion, whether they know it or not. If you care about people who have chosen abortion, here are nine things to consider when attempting to help them.

A woman cannot get pregnant alone. Society often places the entire responsibility for an abortion choice on the mother who walked into the clinic. Yet for every aborted child, there is a father who may or may not have been involved in their child’s death.

One in three American women living today have potentially experienced abortion. Post-abortive individuals are at every level of society, including our nation’s elderly care units like assisted living facilities and nursing homes.

God created tears to help us heal. Tears have a biological purpose in helping cleanse our bodies of toxins. There is also a whole book of the Bible on grief – Lamentations – that outlines crying is good for us, whenever it arrives.

I was hesitant to share my abortion secret with anyone — especially a physician. However, fear of condemnation and my own shame never over-ruled my conscience and I was normally truthful.

If someone walks back into an abortion clinic to abort again, they typically re-live their first abortion emotionally, spiritually, psychological, biologically and physically during the second abortion. The trauma is then often doubled or even tripled.

When a family unit is steeped in dysfunction, sexual abuse and abortions abound. Grandmothers or mothers who aborted often encourage daughters and granddaughters to do the same. Abortion then becomes a family habit or a generational curse.

Last week Internet Giant, Google, BANNED pro-life pregnancy centers from buying Adwords related to the term, “abortion.” Organizations or authors of abortion recovery programs can no longer buy advertising through Google using keywords related to anything abortion.

At some point, God reaches through the darkness of a woman’s self-imposed exile to call His children back into His fellowship. It is then that God rolls away the clouds from our sub-conscious and truth is presented. Memories that God resurrects cannot be pushed away easily. If they aren’t faced, God will continue to propel them into your heart.

“She became a completely different person overnight,” the caller outlined about her daughter. “I read your blog and believe that she may have chosen abortion.” Abortion changes everything, whether the mother or father knows it or not.

Many fetal abnormalities are discovered later in the pregnancy. Most are referred to the local abortion clinic for this procedure. Once there, they sit among women like myself who chose to abort for different reasons. Aborting a wanted child in such a situation bears its own form of trauma.

Just the media discussion of these changes indicate we are on the brink of a massive breakdown of post-abortive defense mechanisms. The biggest trigger of abortion pain will be when abortion is made illegal and they consider they may have done something wrong.

Abortion’s emotional and spiritual pain is likely one of worst forms of self-torture that exists in our world today. It binds our hearts to the anxiety and shame that someone could discover this awful truth about us and cast us out.

But what about the one third of American voting women who have chosen abortion? How will they vote? The answer often depends on the time that has passed since their abortion experience.

She walked into my office. I could tell she was nervous. When I heard her story I could tell why. She was post-abortive, she had a new boyfriend and was afraid to tell him her story.