Taming Thanksgiving Triggers After Abortion Vlog

by | Nov 19, 2019

Soon our nation will celebrate Thanksgiving. Gathering with people who could have encouraged or discouraged a choice to abort often activates old memories of abortion pain. While many will avoid these gatherings, others don’t have that luxury.

Hello!  I’m Sydna Massé, author of the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion, and CEO & Founder of Ramah International, an outreach organization designed to offer the hope of healing to abortion’s wounded around the world.

For those that have not embraced God’s healing after abortion, family meals can be a traumatic experience. Consider eating turkey while sitting next to the aunt who dragged you off to the abortion clinic? Or with the cousin who previously bragged about her two abortions?

An abortion decision is often wrapped in deep emotions with multiple people offering their advice or family members who force an abortion decision. Rarely is the abortion ever discussed afterwards.

Many believe they can take this secret to their graves. Sadly, many find the emotional and spiritual pain of abortion can peak after being triggered, particularly during holiday events.

Meeting with someone who was involved in an abortion decision can ignite anxiety along with other emotions like shame, hatred and disgust.  

The undercurrent of such a meal is often uncomfortable. Obvious grief often goes unrecognized as most around the table don’t even know an abortion occurred.

Many women also can face hostility from those who worked to discourage their abortion decision. Underlying emotions of anger and hatred can still rage in these hearts against the post-abortive person making it difficult to even converse.

Having a meal with those who recommended abortion can trigger memories that are difficult to forget again. While the abortion may never be mentioned, that doesn’t mean the abortion wound is not inflamed.

Or it could be the birth of a subsequent child and the igniting of “motherhood wonderment” where a new child prominently outlines just what the mother lost in making that abortion choice.  

Few of us realized when we chose abortion that reminders of our lost child would surround us as we grew older. I named my child Jesse. Seeing a young person even today that is the same age as Jesse would have been, can impact me.

I never thought I’d be grieving the potential grandchildren Jesse would have provided to my life.

However these triggering events arrive, it makes no difference. A past abortion can be suddenly illuminated in the secret room of a person’s heart and the light may never go off again until God restores them to His peace.

Thankfully, there is the hope of God, whose desire is to heal this part of our hearts. His grace and mercy can bring us to the point where we can forgive ourselves for making such a choice – or offer mercy and forgiveness to those who aborted a loved one – grieve this lost child and find joy again.

If you are growing anxious over the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, here are four ways to help your heart:

Give Yourself Permission to Cry

Psalm 126:4-5 reveals the spiritual benefits of grief – Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy…

Please allow yourself to mourn. Grieving a child lost to abortion typically helps calm abortion pain at a temporary level. Tears are the body’s way of ridding itself of toxins.

Weeping also begins God’s cleansing process, starting the settling of His peace into your heart to help you cope and endure. Crying releases deep emotions and lifts burdens, bringing God close.

Secure Prayer Coverage

If you know of an unhealed abortion wound, or are facing hostile or involved family members, be sure to ask for prayer coverage before any family event. If confrontations could be looming during the family gathering, it’s best to have God involved.

Develop New Family Traditions

Starting a new tradition of having a moment of silence to memorialize family members who have passed away is a great idea. Using this time to allow yourself to memorialize the aborted child can be very healing. Understanding that this child is in God’s good care can be comforting as well.

For those who may have encouraged or discouraged the abortion, they also need God’s grace and mercy evident during the meal versus tension and discord.

Resolve to Embrace God’s Healing

If heartache surrounding a past abortion continues to be triggered, it’s time to embrace an abortion recovery program. Such a journey with God can bring restoration and peace to your soul, and even bring joy back into a wounded heart! 

For those of you who were unable to stop an abortion decision, it’s time to begin the process of forgiving everyone involved. Likely they are suffering in more ways than you can ever know.

If you regret encouraging an abortion decision, a simple apology can bring great relief and peace.   

God’s healing after abortion is available to everyone who may have been involved or impacted. The Holy Spirit often uses reminders to help us begin to understand the emotional and spiritual pain and find His peace.

2 Corinthians 4:15 outlines the benefits of thanking Him for the blessings of your life – All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

f you, or someone you know, is struggling after an abortion, HerChoiceoHeal.com can help! 

From all of us at Ramah International, have wonderful Thanksgiving!