“My grandmother gave me no choice in having an abortion,” the distraught 40-year-old shared. “I wanted my baby, but I was only 15. She told me that she wasn’t bringing any great-grandchildren into the World that she would have to raise!”
After an abortion, the world often places the entire blame for the decision to end the life of these tiny humans on the shoulders post-abortive women. Often ignored in this blame game are the abortion antagonists who actively encouraged or coerced this choice.
In most unexpected pregnancies, there are a variety of voices chiming in with their own thoughts about what choice should be made. A woman doesn’t make an abortion decision in a bubble. She typically enlists the insight and “wisdom” of others.
Many outsiders then assume the role of abortion antagonist – a person who actively opposes or is hostile to a tiny human growing in another person’s womb.
Abortion antagonists are often part of the woman’s friendship circles and family. They may be the potential father of the baby who is also influenced by his own set of separate abortion antagonists. Men’s locker rooms can be full of voices that encourage abortion.
“I thought they killed you up there!” my boyfriend announced as he met me outside the abortion clinic the day our child died. This announcement perked a thought about the possibility of my demise during that procedure. I then wondered what other risks I could be facing because of this choice.
Before my abortion, this boyfriend played the antagonist role towards our child. He packaged abortion logically as the ONLY solution to my pregnancy dilemma. He calmly stated his perspective – “Abortion is legal for a reason, Sydna. You would make a horrible teenage parent. This is the mature decision for your future. Just know that if you don’t abort, I will tell everyone that it is not my child. No one will believe you and you’ll be alone.”
Wincing from his wounding remarks, I worked to convince myself of his point while ignoring his threat. Without his physical support, having a baby alone seemed out of the question. Yet my heart was falling in love with my unborn child. Abortion still seemed like a brutal prospect.
Outlining I wasn’t losing a “baby” but simply a “blob of tissue” was my boyfriend’s second promotional point for abortion. “It’s a clump on cells – no bigger than a bug. We can simply squash it,” he assured me.
There were other voices chiming in on my pregnancy predicament. Many were friends who had already chosen abortion. They actively promoted this choice as one that would, “make my life better.” Only one friend told me that I would regret it.
Abortion antagonists come in all shapes and sizes. Here are a few general demographics:
The mother of the potential father often reverts to disbelief that her son could be the child’s father. This family abortion antagonist often is very sweet to the young mother, offering to pay for the procedure and comfort her in the abortion clinic. Once the tiny human has been wiped away from existence, the post-abortive mother is often dumped by these abortion accessories. She is often left alone to contemplate what just happened to her.
Siblings of either the father or the mother that have already chosen abortion can become strong antagonists. If one sister has had an abortion, it is normal for her sisters to also make this choice. Sisters often pressure and then help hide the secret of the pregnancy to ensure their own abortion remains undiscovered.
Perhaps it’s the potential grandfather who has lost complete respect for his daughter due to discovering she is no longer a virgin. Fathers can be brutal when they are disappointed that their “baby girl” is gone. In their rage, they can do and say things that give the women no choice but to remove the obvious evidence of her lost purity.
Mothers of daughters in the woman’s friendship circle can also become quite driven to enforce abortion decisions. Many are simply afraid their own child will follow suit and get pregnant. By showing abortion as the only supported option in teenage pregnancies, these abortion antagonists often pay for the abortion and take them to the clinic. Many then force the post-abortive mother to pay back the “loan” for the abortion fees. Every payment is a reminder of her loss.
Bullies often are indirect abortion antagonists in a woman’s heart. I remember sitting in the abortion clinic and thinking of a man that had recently bullied me on a class trip. The vision of his laughing at me for getting pregnant outside of marriage ignited my final resolve to go through with the choice. I refused to give him more ammunition to torment me in the future.
Women who get pregnant after being raped often face the harshest abortion coercion, even from the church community. Children of rape have the blood of a pervert running through their veins in some people’s perspective. Yet after rape, abortion is often a more difficult physical experience which can enhance the sexual assault devastation.
Pedophiles are often the harshest abortion antagonists as the DNA of children born from their sexual abuse can put them in prison. Pre-teen women share tales of early sexual abuse where they remember going into a clinic but had no idea what happened. Abortion allows pedophiles the unique advantage of enabling their ongoing sexual abuse.
Abusive spouses can also indirectly encourage abortion as the woman does not want to bring a child into the world that she cannot protect at a physical level. These fathers have often proven they can assault their own children, leaving the mothers to believe returning the tiny human in their wombs back to heaven’s care is a better option. They don’t realize that abortion is one of the harshest forms of child abuse that exists in our world today.
If your abortion was a forced choice, know that an abortion recovery program can help you find deeper healing and peace. The world is full of guilty people who could have more culpability in an abortion than the parents of the lost child. In this regard, murderers abound but rarely will their sins come into the light of day.
The next time you call a post-abortive woman a murderer, realize that is only part of her abortion story. Others share her abortion guilt and may also need healing.
If you encouraged another to abort, know that there is healing for your heart as well. Visit HerChoicetoHeal.com to learn more about God’s amazing forgiveness even after abortion.