A woman cannot get pregnant alone. Society often places the entire responsibility for an abortion choice on the mother who walked into the clinic. Yet for every aborted child, there is a father who may or may not have been involved in their child’s death.
Fathers are often the forgotten player in abortion decisions. While men do not possess tangible rights in the abortion choice, they hold varying levels of influence over whether their potential child will live or die.
Masculine impact often has varying levels of severity, depending on the nature of the influence. Each mindset can experience different levels of guilt during the healing process. Thankfully, there is no sin that God can’t forgive and bring restoration.
Mindsets of masculine abortion influence falls into four categories:
The father with a Protector mindset doesn’t want his child aborted. When the unexpected pregnancy arrives, the Protector’s heart is typically supportive of a life decision.
Protectors often propose quickly and possess great joy in the fact that they are going to be a father. If his proposal is rejected, and the woman is determined to abort, a Protector may actually beg her to make another choice.
Rarely do Protectors realize that they have no actual rights in the abortion decision until it’s too late. While they may hold some influence, other people in the woman’s life often overrule his outlook.
Still working to be supportive, the Protector may then abandon his pursuit of marriage and hesitantly accompany her to the clinic. The Protector often experiences grief afterwards in that a child he actually wanted in his life has died. He can feel emasculated by his inability to protect his woman and child from abortion’s horrible impact.
The Not Involved father typically does not know about the pregnancy. His role in the conception offers him indirect influence. He could be:
- A “potential” father among several others
- A temporary boyfriend who doesn’t communicate with the woman after the conception
- A person the woman doesn’t want in her life
The Not Involved father typically has little opportunity to directly influence a woman’s choice. He may later discover the abortion and grieve this child or actually feel relieved that he has no direct guilt in making the abortion decision.
A Not Involved father, who learns about the abortion, can maintain the belief that it was another man’s child that was lost – not his. This means he may not experience the guilt of post-abortion pain to the same level as those with other influences over the mother.
By outlining that a woman has the right to decide what to do with her body, the pro-choice society has trained many to make no comment about the life or death of their unborn child. Men with Neutral mindsets then remain silent while the abortion is being decided. They can make statements like, “I’ll support whatever choice you make.”
The Neutral man doesn’t propose or encourage an abortion decision. He simply refuses to participate in the choice, allowing the decision to be made solely by the mother.
Indirectly, Neutral mindsets communicate a message to their potential child’s mother – “Please abort but I don’t want to feel guilty about it…”
Women often feel abandoned by the Neutral masculine mindset. Yet that may not be the case at all. Many Neutral men believe they are doing the right thing. They may have no clue that their woman is longing to hear their perspective or dream of a marriage proposal.
An Enforcer mindset means the father of the baby pressures, coerces or encourages the abortion. He may threaten physical harm or abandonment if the woman is leaning towards a life decision. At the extreme, the Enforcer could physically abuse the woman to bring on a miscarriage.
The Enforcer has likely encouraged other women to abort. He may also be actively involved in encouraging abortion among his male friends.
Enforcers may even resort to other strategies to ensure an abortion takes place. They may push their pregnant women to take drugs. These men then draw dire conclusions like, “You can’t have that baby now because you took drugs that may mean you’ll have a handicapped child!”
Enforcers may also be a woman’s abuser. They could be her father, brother, uncle or even new boyfriend. When an Enforcer is involved, the woman typically feels she has no other choice but to abort.
Regardless of how an abortion decision was made, God can heal and restore any heart. He can comfort the grieving soul and bring hope for the future. If you were involved in influencing an abortion decision at any level, understand that Jesus died for that sin. 1 Peter 2:24 outlines that truth – “He himself (Jesus) bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”