Whether you realize it or not, you know someone who has chosen abortion. Abortion is so common an experience that it is embedded at every level of society.

Abortion is clearly not a woman’s issue as she cannot get pregnant on her own! While women can only get pregnant during a certain time each month, a man can impregnate many women in one evening!  If 1 in 3 American women have made this choice, then at least 1 in 3 men have lost children to abortion as well.

The post-abortive comprise one of the most isolated societies in modern history. Think about it – one out of every three people you will meet today could have made this choice. Yet a vocal post-abortive testimony is still a rare event, especially in church settings!

The silence after making this choice is not healthy. For this pain to be addressed and healed with God’s love, you may need to step outside your comfort zone to reach us. Post-abortive people need a window to the Christian community that says you will not judge us. It’s time for everyone to begin to address post-abortive people at a deeper level with the hope of God’s healing.

When someone confesses an abortion secret, they typically are searching for help. Maybe they want to know if they did the right thing.  Others test the waters to see if you will judge them. Some simply cannot live with the horrible memories and need immediate help.

After these initial confessions, most post-abortive people go silent, hoping to forget. But silence does not mean deep wounding isn’t permeating our souls, growing deeper and more powerful with each passing day.

We are all in need of God’s healing in light of the ongoing loss of life each day through abortion. If you know someone’s abortion secret, here are six things you can do to help them discover God’s amazing healing:

Learn More About Abortion PTSD – Understanding Abortion PTSD builds empathy, particularly if the dysfunctional behavior of a post-abortive person has impacted your life negatively. It is possible you may be experiencing a secondary form of this disorder as well.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve – Abortion decisions impact the whole family. Understand you may need to grieve this lost child in a private and healthy way, apart from the post-abortive person. 1 Peter 1:6-7 outlines God’s purpose in grief – In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Ensure You Have Forgiven Them — Can you authentically offer them unconditional love in discussing this past choice? If you are unsure, God’s word is the perfect tool to convict and remedy any negative emotions that may remain in your heart. Look up Scriptures that include the word, “forgive,” to begin to learn God’s perspective on this essential concept.

Offer Messages of Hope – Abortion is discussed on nearly every media outlet on a daily basis.Please do not avoid the abortion topic once you’ve dealt with your own emotions surrounding this loss. When you do bring up this past choice, remember to outline that there is no sin that God cannot forgive, even abortion.

Address the Abortion Topic Compassionately – If someone has shared their abortion secret with you, you have more power than anyone else to help them. Pray for God to open the door for you to bring up their past confession. It can be as simple as saying, “I remember what you confessed to me.  I’ve been doing some research and have found some hopeful resources should that topic bother you in any way.  Just know I love you and am here to help.” Whether they respond doesn’t matter. Planting seeds of compassion in their hearts will never return void.

Read the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion – This book can help you understand the common post-abortion experience at a deeper level.  It is the perfect resource to give to a post-abortive person. While they may not read it immediately, books are hard to throw out. If they accept this book, you can be assured that they have something to help them find God’s healing, even if they cannot discuss it with you.

God’s plan for your involvement in helping the post-abortive discover His grace and mercy after abortion is outlined in Acts 26:17b-18I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’   

Sydna Massé is President and Founder of Ramah International and author of the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion.

Abortion Recovery Blog Sydna Masse

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