5 Stages of Denial After Abortion
“I don’t know why all of this pain from my abortions are impacting my heart right now,” the post-abortive woman outlined. “Why did I not feel this emotional and spiritual pain years ago?”
In the typical life cycle of an abortion decision, a period of relief immediately afterwards is quite normal. Some are able to move on with their lives and rarely remember their choice negatively. These are often women who support abortion rights advocacy efforts.
Yet for many, there is a moment in time when all that changes. Suddenly, the unborn child becomes an person due to an outside variable that shatters any denial that they only aborted a “blob of tissue.”
With the recent Presidential Inauguration, abortion has been highly discussed everywhere. Many liberal media channels seem to be ramping up pro-abortion rhetoric, likely in an effort to discount future legislative efforts that will limit abortion rights.
Every time the word “abortion” is overheard by a post-abortive heart, a trigger of abortion pain can be unleashed. This simple phrase rarely brings any joy to those considering its ramifications. Any one related to a post-abortive person can watch our transformation from blindness on this topic simply by watching our body language and listening to our conversation.
Here are five common stages of post-abortive denial:
I Did Nothing Wrong
Many outline initially, “My abortion was the best thing I ever did. It allowed me to get an education, not be saddled with a child and cuts all ties to the father.” The constant replay that their abortion was their “best” choice sounds horrifying to average individuals. After all, they are discussing the death of an innocent life. That does not mean that God cannot shatter this mindset in an instant. These are the cold hearts that have yet to realize they have lost a family member due to choice.
What Have I Done?
One woman called me after viewing one of the 2015 Center for Medical Progress’s undercover Planned Parenthood videos. “Where is my baby, Sydna,” she asked through grief tears. “What did they do to my baby? How can I find him?”
I had no words of comfort for her in discovering her child’s final resting place. The truth is that our child’s remains could be used in many ways. The FDA features that fetal remains are used producing vaccines. Post-abortive people need to make peace with never discovering how their child’s remains were used.
When they understand they lost a child, many are simply quiet and reserved when abortion is discussed. Shame and guilt can haunt these hearts. This is where tens of millions of American women reside in the life cycle of their choice. Every time the word “abortion” is overheard, the pain within the unhealed heart of the post-abortive individual can be triggered. With the new emphasis on changing abortion laws in the media, many in this phase of denial will shift in the near future.
Many in the “silent revere” level can transform into staunch defenders of the unborn. These hearts quickly search the topic of abortion and are met with graphic photos of aborted children. Their outrage is then ignited along with many other emotions. The horrific vision of a mangled child can ignite a form of anxiety that can be more devastating than the abortion experience. With no care for themselves, these post-abortive people can force their way onto pro-life platforms, screaming out their abortion story with pain and anger. They often believe if they can end abortion, they will feel peace. Peace only comes from God.
Defending the unborn involves a unique level of spiritual warfare that can devastate a person at a far deeper level. Without discovering God’s peace and healing first, listening to these testimonies can seem as dysfunctional as those defending abortion rights. If they exhibit obvious anger in their communications, please encourage them with other ways to help. God’s healing needs to take place before we enter the public zone on abortion.
There is also positive fallout from this ignited pain. Many cannot return to the “I did nothing wrong” mindset because God is at work. Many are now seeking out help by turning to God and abortion recovery programs. Jesus Christ died on the cross for every sin – even abortion. By believing in Him, we are set free from this emotional prison and are allowed to live a life free of condemnation and shame.
Those who have gained God’s peace, forgiveness and come to the point of receiving God’s pardon can be incredibly successful in helping others considering abortion, working at a political level to make real changes or simply becoming a better wife, mother, sister, daughter or friend due to God’s peace.
Please know that our team is here to help individuals discover God’s peace after abortion. Ramah International’s website and the book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion, have been helping post-abortive people understand their pain and discover God’s healing relief for the last 20 years.
We are one of the few ministries providing direct support, resources and ministry development training to help reach the world’s post-abortive hearts with the hope of God’s healing. Please continue to pray for us and prayerfully consider a tax-deductible donation to help us reach abortion’s wounded hearts with the hope of God’s mercy and grace.