My Abortionist’s Remains
I never got his name, but I’ll never forget his voice or the brutal touch he used while performing my abortion. In struggling against the horrific pain that day, I earned his ire. He then made sure my abortion truly hurt me because I did not pay extra for anesthesia.
Thirty-eight years later I heard his voice again.
They say abortion is a woman’s choice. Half an hour earlier, my boyfriend stated he would leave me in the streets of Indianapolis if I came out of that abortion clinic still pregnant. I should have tested his threats that day, but I was too scared.
I can’t tell you the name of that clinic. I didn’t keep a receipt because that would betray my secret shame. It’s easy to recall the 4-story glassed stairway that led to the clinic. It was on a quiet street in Indianapolis, IN. The clinic was on the top floor with a long hallway inside that no woman should ever travel.
In departing such a tragic place, forgetting details was essential. Any reminder needed to be locked in a room of my heart and never opened again. Erasing it from memory was my plan. God had other ideas.
My abortionist was masked when he appeared at the bottom of my surgical table. I took notice of his height, voice, approximate age and color of his hair as I watched him through my legs that were loaded into stirrups. He never addressed me personally.
I had no idea that abortion was surgery. I never asked any questions. I was like a docile lamb brought to the slaughter; and I did not know that they had devised schemes against me (Jeremiah 11:19).
“Seven weeks,” he spouted after giving me a brutal pelvic exam – my first at aged 19. “Lay her down!”
That was 38 years ago. After serving since 1991 in an international abortion recovery ministry, I thought there was nothing left to address in my heart about that day.
I watched a recent news clip about the abortionist, Ulrich George Klopfer, whose family found 2,245 aborted children’s remains in his home after his death on September 3, 2019. The clip featured Klopfer speaking at a licensing hearing. That was when I heard my abortionist’s voice again.
“I never judged anybody. . .” Klopfer stated. “I gave women what they wanted. It may have hurt them. . . “
Below the video, the tickler scrolled the message – “Klopfer was likely Indiana’s most prolific abortion doctor in history with numbers going into the tens of thousands of procedures in multiple counties over several decades.”
Indiana Abortionist? A complete understanding collided with my heart as I realized Ulrich George Klopfer had been my abortionist!
Comprehending his identity was significant. His hair, height and voice all matched my vivid memory. The confession he “hurt” women coincided with the brutal and traumatic procedure I endured at his hand.
There is no way for me to confirm George Klopfer’s identity as my abortionist. The clinic where my child died was closed long ago. His abortion businesses were primarily in the Fort Wayne and South Bend regions. Yet we know many abortionists were itinerant physicians, travelling to other cities to assist on busy/lucrative days.
I had earned his ire that day by physically fighting the pain he was inflicting upon me. He yelled and then a hand muffled my screams, nearly suffocating me. Someone then held me down forcibly on that table, their grip bruising me. I then recalled the hand prints, in bruise form, on my upper thighs that appeared within days of my child’s death.
It was a war-like experience where my child was lost forever. I survived, albeit brutally wounded at a spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical level.
My heart then ran into the obvious possibility that my child – whom I later named Jesse – was among Klopfer’s fetal remains. In 1992 I attended a memorial service where I grieved and honored Jesse’s brief life. The grief work begun then is now 27 years strong.
For the other women this abortionist served, the news of my abortionist’s remains has ratcheted their often-denied abortion pain. I took time to pray for the other women Klopfer served.
“How will I ever know that my child is among his remains, Sydna?” one woman that had discovered God’s healing after her abortions in Indianapolis asked after this news surfaced.
Tenderly, I reminded her that she had first trimester abortions. Children aborted at that stage are not usually whole afterwards. Klopfer likely retained bodies that were older and intact. That truth increased her agony in understanding the barbaric dismemberment nature of the way her children had died.
I reminded her that my abortion clinic had been a madhouse of activity that day, just like during her abortion. Over 20 women were in the abortion recovery room when I arrived there. The suction machine likely held many bodies as there was no time between patients to clean it out.
The idea that Klopfer could have fished out one child from that suction machine for his personal collection wasn’t plausible. He simply did not have time between procedures.
Comfort came with understanding that Jesus is the greatest parent a child could ever have. God can use even the tragedy of abortion to His good. That was proven in our friendship, which started when she asked me to help her discover His healing.
She had already learned there is no sin that God cannot heal, restore and forgive. After abortion, the struggle is to forgive the younger version of ourselves that made such a choice. As the shame began to descend on her heart again, she had new skills to cast that disgrace out through prayer.
Investigators recently shared that containers for these remains were labeled as being aborted from 2000-2002. Klopfer’s clinics in South Bend, Fort Wayne and Gary, Indiana, were operating at that time. If a woman went to his clinic then, it is certainly possible their child’s body is among Klopfer’s remains.
Will County Sheriff, Mike Kelly, who is overseeing this case, shared that, “Fifty detectives searched the house and found no other remains… The aborted babies will soon be transferred to the Indiana Attorney General’s office where the bodies will be held as evidence as the investigation continues.”
If you are grieving a child lost through abortion, understand that news coverage can unlock that room in your heart where these memories are stored. Once that room is opened, God’s grace flows as He begins to untangle the thoughts and truths that have been locked away for so long. This triggered pain is not designed to punish you but release you from the agony of abortion solitude and shame.
Abortion – even when conducted by infamous abortionists – is not the unforgivable sin. God sees all sin the same. A tiny white lie is the same category of sin as an abortion.
If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you will see your child again someday in heaven. When that day arrives, your child will hold no animosity towards you as that emotion doesn’t exist in heaven. God is the only judge there.
If you don’t know Jesus Christ, John 3:16 reveals how to ensure you will see your child again – For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Visit HerChoicetoHeal.com to begin your healing process and restore joy and peace to your life! We are praying for you!
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Abortion impacts hearts at an emotional, spiritual, psychological and physical level. Her Choice to Heal’s free online abortion recovery course offers nine detailed modules that provide understanding of abortion’s impact. These specific healing strategies can begin the healing process.
Hello, I am Sydna Massé Founder and CEO of Ramah International and the author of Her Choice to Heal. I'd love to keep in touch and include you in our prayer chain as we continue to serve abortion's wounded and those considering abortion.
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