Oprah Magazine recently promoted the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion by featuring the woman’s story who started this campaign. Oprah’s editorial team oddly placed this story under the “Inspiration” section of this publication.
This abortion proud hashtag has now been tweeted over 300,000 times. Whatever the reasons for participating in this promotion, the use of this hashtag can have massive implications for the American family whose members have been lost to abortion.
If you learned of a loved one’s abortion truth through the #ShoutYourAbortion social media campaign, understand they did not share this truth publicly to specifically wound you. They simply do not understand your angst towards their abortion decision. Many believe that if abortion is safe and legal, why would it upset anyone? Unfortunately, only time can change their perspectives.
Please understand that a typical post-abortion characteristic can be to endorse and even recommend abortion to others. Many encourage abortion as a way of reminding themselves that their choice was a good one. That helps keep pain and grief at bay from impacting their mother’s heart – at least for a while.
After my abortion I surrounded myself with pro-choice people who would not judge me for this choice should they discover my truth. I only supported pro-choice candidates and even encouraged one of my friends to abort. Thankfully, she didn’t listen to me and is enjoying her daughter’s grandchildren these days.
The candor of an abortion truth, tweeted quickly and without thought to future consequences, will remain a permanent record of a child’s death. It can also be a black mark in some circles for the woman who confessed in such a sensational manner. Sadly, sharing this truth rarely enhances the post-abortive life but often reduces it.
Once you have lost a child to abortion, the experience becomes part of your soul forever. If the abortion remains a secret, it can fester and grow into either pro- or anti-abortion sentiments. Once an abortion secret is revealed publicly, it can be used as a reason to discredit the women at many levels for the rest of her life.
Few consider the consequences to family and friends who cannot understand a love one’s stance to glorify a choice that cuts off a whole family branch. Anger and outrage typically result towards the post-abortive woman from these family members when they discover an abortion truth.
Participating in the #ShoutYourAbortion campaign has also dredged up many women’s vivid experiences in these clinics during their own abortions. These abortion promoting tweets brought back memories many had hoped to forget.
The world is finally learning the dysfunctional impact that can occur in a woman’s life due to the “care” of abortion providers who are calloused towards tiny human beings. While it is normal to feel relief after an abortion, that emotion is often temporary. As major “life issues” like births, deaths, weddings and funeral occur, these abortion decisions often come back to haunt us.
Two years after my abortion, I was in my last semester of college. Before I met two family members for dinner, I spent twenty minutes talking with fellow students about how abortion empowers women. I was in that “abortion proud” phase when I sat down to dinner later that evening.
While it was unplanned, I casually announced to these family members, “I’m so glad that abortion is legal. I would never be to this point in my education without it.”
This couple responded in total shock. Anger was the next emotion expressed as one asked fiercely, “You actually had an abortion?”
My response was positive and upbeat because I was in deep denial about the loss of my child’s life. I harshly responded, “Yes! It was the best decision of my life.”
The emotions these two individuals presented towards me then were unexpected. I had no clue that my abortion truth would be considered a death experience to them.
Heartlessly, I continued to outline why my abortion had been a great choice. As I talked, the anger and opposing sadness increased.
Confused, I grew angry with these people and said, “Do you think I shouldn’t have aborted?”
No answer was given. They simply stood up and left the restaurant abruptly in the middle of dinner. Never again would these two people sit in my presence without the same emotion of disrespect and hatred being presented towards me. My casually shared abortion truth ended their love for me permanently.
Seven years later my perspective on abortion changed to the opposite spectrum. It wasn’t until I saw my next child fully formed on an ultrasound screen that I “realized” I had lost a person that day in the abortion clinic and not a “blob of tissue.” That experience moved me to my knees with great conviction that I had participated in something that took an obvious person’s life – my own child.
I then searched for help. Once God healed my heart through an abortion recovery program, I became a pioneer in sharing my abortion experience publicly. My abortion story was first featured on a two-day Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson broadcast that reached millions. This testimony outlined how my abortion impacted me negatively at a spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical level.
Thousands of women who felt the same way about their “choice” responded to this broadcast. My efforts in helping women find healthy ways to grieve this choice and forgive themselves began with that first public sharing. For the last 27 years, God has used my abortion testimony to help tens of thousands find the same peace after abortion.
Despite the Godly results of healing, there were major costs to my family for this public confession, just like there can be for women using the #ShoutYourAbortion hashtag.
While my life has drastically changed regarding my support of abortion, it made no difference to these two individuals who understood I had once defended abortion. Even in specifically asking for their forgiveness for both aborting my child and speaking so casually about it to them, no clemency was gained.
If a #ShoutYourAbortion tweet outlined the death of a loved one in your life, take time to carefully guard your words around this post-abortive person. Take time to grieve this lost child and learn more about why women abort. Visit HerChoicetoHeal.com to discover how to communicate with your loved one.
Please also continue to pray for this post-abortive person in your life as the consequences to sharing this truth so publicly may be more than they can bear in the years to come. The last thing they need is your rejection.
I know that God will provide many of these #ShoutYourAbortion authors with His grace and healing in time. The HerChoicetoHeal.com website is now available to help anyone wounded by an abortion decision – whether their own or someone they love.
God’s grace, mercy and truth applies to every post-abortive person despite the pain they may have caused in other hearts. I’m grateful for God’s help to face the anger and outrage that I often experience from people after public presentations despite being clearly against the abortion option. But for God’s grace, anyone could have chosen abortion, even you!