It was a lonely spot being one of the first women to pioneer sharing an abortion testimony on a public platform. When I taped my first broadcast for a major Christian ministry in 1992, I had just opened my heart to look at my past abortion pain.
Ministry life started when I accepted a marketing position with an obviously life-affirming international Christian ministry. The President of that ministry, Dr. James Dobson, touched my pain on my very first day, speaking directly to me, saying, “I know I’m talking to many women who have experienced abortion. There is no sin that God cannot forgive. The problem may be that you don’t forgive yourself and may need some help. We are here to help.”
Tears came down my face as I realized that this life-affirming ministry wouldn’t fire me if they discovered I was post-abortive. I was safe. Then I discovered a booklet entitled, “Identifying and Overcoming Post-Abortion Syndrome.” The list of symptoms (now described as Abortion PTSD) described me perfectly. There was relief in discovering the source of my emotional pain.
God made it obvious to my heart soon thereafter that He wanted me to share my personal struggle with abortion to offer the same hope of God’s healing to other wounded hearts. I must confess that sharing publicly wasn’t a calling I initially embraced. I fought this calling, but God’s hand was heavy upon my heart.
While I feared rejection and judgment, the first audience to hear my story responded with love and compassion. Their love gave me the confidence to keep speaking.
Another source of joy was discovering the work of pregnancy centers. Had I walked into a life-affirming pregnancy center for a free pregnancy test, I might not have made my abortion decision. Over 2,400 centers around the U.S. offer tangible services so that women could have more choices than just abortion!
When I first started sharing about my abortion, nothing magical happened. By that time I was nearly 30 years old with a loving husband who encouraged my public sharing. My parents were mortified, however. The intense pressure of their embarrassment only drew me closer to God to determine if sharing this testimony was His real will for my life.
With a series of confirmations, I continued to share in hopes of reaching other post-abortive women in similar pain. Thankfully, God took care of my parents during that difficult period, providing comfort and support and eventually brought healing to our family.
Many post-abortive people express this calling to share their abortion stories as a desire to break free from their self-imposed prison of secrecy and become “silent no more.” This phrase originated with a book by that title. This was one of the first publication to outline post-abortion pain by sharing anonymous testimonies of those who had chosen abortion.
The stories in that book allowed me to understand that my pain was typical. Many of my apprehensions in life could be related to my abortion choice. I then warily enrolled in an abortion recovery program offered through my local pregnancy center. Through the love of that pregnancy center, I experienced God’s miraculous healing, releasing me from the emotional pain that had haunted my life since my abortion decision. Since that time, I’ve testified before world-wide audiences as large as 750,000 and as small as one person. Each time I share it is just as difficult as that first testimony. Spiritual maturity is essential as each time I share, I relive my abortion experience. I’m convinced the public platform is a RARE calling for post-abortive people due to the spiritual maturity required.
Ramah currently does not recommend post-abortive women join any post-abortion awareness groups that have any political agenda. However, we lovingly support the work of pregnancy centers and a few select organizations that labor diligently to empower individuals who have received God’s calling to responsibly share their abortion testimony. Through Christ-centered abortion recovery outreach programs, many individuals are embracing this healing and are being mentored to make a difference in the lives of others considering this choice or who are struggling with their own abortion experience.
For the rare individuals who truly have God’s call upon their hearts to share this story at a public level, being mentored by the staff of local pregnancy centers is essential. These humble, prepared hearts are indeed making a true difference in reaching other imprisoned hearts with the hope of God’s healing!
If you feel the call to share your abortion testimony, please proceed prayerfully and obtain a copy of Ramah’s booklet, “Sharing the Secret of Abortion,” for more information on steps to take.