Friends After Abortion

The Return of Abortion’s Exiled Women

by | Aug 7, 2018

“I’ve just awoken from a deep slumber where I could not find myself,” the post-abortive woman shared in her first message after discovering “I didn’t know I was stuck in a circle of grief that wouldn’t release me until I faced the truth that my choice cost my child her life. Can God ever forgive me?”

Re-entering the world after an abortion is often unnerving. The pain of the abortion process often retains its impact on our bodies for many weeks. Something undefined and precious seems to be missing. We look at the world differently, realizing we are now in a unique society as mothers of dead children.

Sleep is the darkest realm we first encounter after our abortion procedures steal the tiny human from our wombs. Depending on the drugs we take, or the amount of alcohol we consume to forget the abortion, slumber can be immediately traumatizing.

A common nightmare after abortion is walking in a stream of red water and feeling something touch your feet in the water. I’ll never forget the dream where I pulled out a baby’s severed head from such a red river. It looked like a porcelain doll head until the child’s eyes blinked at me and a beautiful smile appeared on its face. I dropped it back in the water and ran through that stream until I finally woke up.

After abortion, many feel they are supposed to become staunchly pro-choice less they be deemed a hypocrite for being pro life. The abortion industry expects post-abortive women to be gratefully loyal to them for their services. For many, appreciation is NOT an emotion they feel towards the people that helped them arrive in such a depressed grief-filled state.

God never leaves His people, even though His people may work to separate themselves from Him due to their shame. Christian women who abort often report ignoring the voice of the Holy Spirit telling them to flee the abortion clinic. When women deny that internal Godly voice regarding their unborn children, they often experience a rare form of deafening silence afterwards.

Another voice often arrives in these Christian hearts to inform them that they have just committed the worst sin possible. The voice of such an opponent is difficult to offset without the Holy Spirit’s calm messaging. Since so many lose that Holy Spirit connection after abortion, they have no way to battle the abusive messaging of their internal thoughts.

The accuser’s voice is easy to embrace. It speaks to our heart in common messaging like:

  • God doesn’t want you now … You are a murderer!
  • You killed a beautiful child – you deserve prison!
  • The only social group you deserve is alone. No one would want to be your friend once they know you killed your child.
  • You will have to tell that man of your dreams about your abortion. He will never want you then.
  • God won’t trust you with more children because you could abort them too!
  • You can’t ever trust yourself again. You are capable of murder and you didn’t even know it!
  • Christians and pro-lifers will stone you if they ever discover your secret murderous sin.

Post-abortive women enter silent prisons of pain in accepting this horrific messaging as God’s truth. They can then experience deeper levels of internal solitary confinement when triggers of abortion memories – like anniversaries of either the abortion or the due date of the children – arrive.

At some point, God reaches through the darkness of a woman’s self-imposed exile to call His children back into His fellowship. It is then that God rolls away the clouds from our sub-conscious and truth is presented. Memories that God resurrects cannot be pushed away easily. If they aren’t faced, God will continue to propel them into your heart.

God used another man’s voice to open my prison door to feel His love once again. As I listened to my new employer talk about abortion, I was shocked when he addressed me. Dr. James Dobson said, “I know I’m talking to many women who have experienced abortion. I want you to know that there is no sin that God cannot forgive. The problem maybe you don’t forgive yourself and you may need help. We are here to help!”

That soundbite of healing transformed me instantly. I realized the accuser’s voice that had told me just a few hours earlier that Dr. James Dobson would fire me if he ever discovered my abortion truth had been defeated. This leader’s overt compassion and direct statement to me about the pain I was enduring as a post-abortive person changed everything in my heart. Primarily, it stopped the accuser’s harassment in my soul! I could hear God’s voice again.

Tears rolled down my face as Dr. Dobson’s speech continued but the self-imposed prison walls began shattering from my soul. Those partitions could never be rebuilt because God was finished waiting for me to return to Him. He took matters into His own hands to bring this daughter back into His fellowship. He’s been using me to reach abortion’s exiled hearts with His message of love ever since.

It is often startling to consider that God could value a sinful post-abortive woman. Jesus outlined this truth in Luke 7:36-50 – “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

The man responded, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.”

Jesus continued – “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

As a sinful woman forgiven the great debt of abortion, God has used me to show His love to other exiled hearts. Through Ramah International’s abortion recovery website,, women are finding Him through simple internet searches. As God builds their courage, they go through the 9 healing modules and discover the truth that God can heal abortion’s pain, restore and use them in amazing ways. Then the peace that passes all understanding takes over and a new life in Christ begins. They come home to God and out of exile!

Isaiah 61:1-3 reveals God’s hope for imprisoned post-abortive hearts – The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

If you or someone you know has experienced abortion, please visit to learn more about how to help advance God’s grace and mercy to abortion’s wounded women. Please share the good news to any audience that there is no sin that God cannot forgive, even abortion!