Understanding Abortion’s Wounded Women
“You’re pregnant!” the Planned Parenthood “counselor” in Kalamazoo, Michigan announced to me in August, 1981. I was just 19 years old, preparing for my sophomore year at a Christian college. Instantly, my whole world shattered.
Abortion was the only solution presented that day and my boyfriend insisted it was my only “choice.” I left that Planned Parenthood clinic with a future abortion appointment scheduled in an Indianapolis clinic. My “counselor” had just one request. She asked me to, “Be sure you tell them that we referred you…” I had no problem obliging her request.
I would later ask the abortion nurse at the clinic if I would regret this at an emotional or psychological level. She curtly responded, “Not at all. It’s just a blob of tissue and the abortion will make your life much better.”
While I emotionally “clung” to her answer that abortion would make my life better, by asking the question, I knew that emotional regret was possible.
Abortion was an agonizing topic for me after my child’s death. I actively avoided the “abortion” word for years. When a news program introduced the topic, I’d change channels. If a newspaper article focused on abortion, I’d move to another section. Just reading the word could unleash agony!
Before the release of these horrific videos from the Center for Medical Progress, post-abortive people could certainly shield their eyes from the particulars of abortion. Today, the details of the humanity of our lost children is overwhelmingly obvious. Denial can never work the same again.
For post-abortive women, who truly believed the myth that they were only aborting a “blob of tissue,” these videos have unleashed an entirely different reality and anguish. Millions are now face-to-face with the reality that they did not lose a “blob of tissue” or a “product of conception.” Blobs don’t have legs, arms, livers, brains, etc.
In serving as an international leader of abortion recovery efforts for the last 24 years, God has allowed me to interact with tens of thousands of post-abortive people all over the world. Here are some things I’ve learned:
- Every time the word “abortion” is featured in the media, the pain within the unhealedpost-abortive heart is ignited. What steps we take with that agony depends on how comfortable we are in sharing this secret. Most work very hard to revert to a denial mindset and simply avoid the topic. With more videos set to be released, simple avoidance is no longer possible.
- Graphic footage and tasteless comments from abortion providers related to these “war torn” aborted children unleash a new outrage in post-abortive hearts. We were clearly lied to about the humanity of our unborn children. Without processing this pain in a stable and Godly manner, abortion’s wounded can become dysfunctional and overwhelmed with anger. Some may also become suicidal with the understanding their “blob of tissue” was a very human looking baby.
- On the opposite extreme are post-abortive people who are digging deeper into their denial mindset, refusing to consider that these videos spark any related agony. Because they continue to hold fast to the belief that their abortion was a good choice, most are ignoring these videos and continue to defend the monstrous techniques employed by Planned Parenthood.
- Abortion’s severely wounded – who may have experienced abortion multiple times – may also maintain a “never surrender” mindset defending abortion rights. Some may actually be empowered by the ongoing discussion, participating more vehemently in promoting destructive pro-abortion agendas.
Regardless of their pro-life or pro-choice views, internal battles to IGNORE abortion pain requires a great deal of emotional energy. Anger is a close ally in this endeavor. These are the faces on the pro-abortion ranks that openly rage against anyone with a life-affirming perspective.
Because of the denial shattered by these videos, abortion’s wounded are now seeking out recovery programs, as shielding their hearts from the truth is no longer possible. They need a new way to cope with this pain.
Abortion’s wounded are also privately seeking help from clergy and loved ones. These private confessions are educating our community as to the particular agony that has festered within many congregations.
I’ve had no choice but to “make peace” with never knowing if my Planned Parenthood “counselor” benefitted financially from referring me to the place where my unborn child, whom I later named Jesse, would die. With the truth outlining Planned Parenthood’s sale of these deceased children’s bodies, I will also never know if Jesse’s body was sold for medical research.
When you come in contact with abortion’s wounded, I beg you to be compassionate and loving. God loves the hardest of hearts and wants to use you to bring them to His saving grace and mercy. Be sure to always compassionately address post-abortive listeners when you share about this topic. You can be the one God uses to help them find His healing, peace and forgiveness!
As always, Ramah International is here to help abortion’s wounded! If we can assist you in any way, please be in touch! Abortion recovery classes are offered through most pregnancy centers.
Sydna Masse is President & Founder of Ramah International and author of the book and abortion recovery program, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion (David C. Cook, 2009). Contact Sydna at [email protected].